Valentine's Day

Perhaps it's because I'm just too cautious for my own good but this Valentine's day I most likely won't be doing much. Oddly enough, I'm fine with that. I feel as though there is an unhealthy pressure that Valentine's day puts on everyone. It's almost like there's this desperation to have some sort of companionship that makes those who are single feel uncomfortable to be spending the day alone. I'm perfectly aware that I may just sound like I'm bitter over being single for this day and that may very well be part of it, but I can say with confidence that it's a very small aspect of my problem with these types of holidays and I know that I'm far from the only one who holds this view. Having spent Valentine's day with a romantic partner in the past, I will say without a shadow of a doubt that it can be a magnificent way to spend such a day. Romance is wonderful, almost spiritual, and I will admit that I'm a fairly romantic person. However, I'm also not the type of person who feels as though it's a mandatory part of life. Having someone to spend such a day with can be one of the best feelings one can experience, but even if you spend it by yourself, the world will continue to turn. I'll still be honest with myself and will admit that it would be nice to have a woman to spend it with. I'll never forget the way my former girlfriends face lit up whenever I would surprise her with anything of the romantic nature. There was one day I decided to surprise her with flowers and when I pulled them out from behind my back, the way her eyes lit up gave me a profound sense of fulfillment and elation. The knowledge that with such a simple act, I had made her experience such joy awoke within me feelings that could only be described as love. It was powerful and it was enough to bring me back to a mindset that I thought I had abandoned entirely: that of the hopeless romantic. When I was younger, I always loved doing things like that, but for some time, I hadn't had anyone whom I could bring joy to in such a manner, and then when I met her, I suddenly did and I'll always cherish the memories I made with that woman. However, that was then and this is now. That relationship has come to pass and I have moved on. I've come to accept that what we had cannot and will not be rekindled but that's just life. Sometimes two people realize they just aren't right for each other and part ways. It can be sad, but it can also be a good way to learn more about yourself. An ended relationship provides a more accurate road map for what one should seek in a partner. Romance is trial and error. Like I said, I will most likely be spending Valentines day not doing a whole lot, and that's alright. Funny enough, there is a woman whom I wouldn't mind spending the day with but that brings me back to the first sentence of this entry. Love can bring so much fulfillment to ones life, but it's important to be secure with yourself without it. If you desire a relationship, someone to spend Valentine's day with, then that's fine, however if you're hung up on it and feel strong sadness in the absence of such a relationship, then you need to work on security with yourself. I've always been of the opinion that dependency is the death knell of relationships. If two people can't bear to be apart for even a short period of time, that isn't healthy. In a relationship that is going well, at least in my mind, both individuals should still be individuals. When two people enter a relationship, they don't cease to be themselves, rather the only thing that changes is they have added a new aspect to their lives rather than taken anything away that was already there, i.e. any part of their individuality. Perhaps I hold that view of relationships because of my own personality. I'm a person who cherishes his own independence. I'm also a person who values the freedom to be able to make my own decisions and if that freedom is ever impeded on, I quickly find myself frustrated and uncomfortable. I've realized that because of this nature that I possess, I'm fundamentally incompatible with any woman who isn't of the same mindset, which has brought me to have to partake in some awkward conversations recently, but I'm getting digresional yet again. Back to the subject of the entry, which of course is Valentine's day. Valentine's day is a particular day of the year to celebrate love and that's a beautiful concept. However, it should never be a reason to feel downcast about ones own love life, or perhaps a lacking in it. If you are single on Valentine's day, you're far from alone. There are millions of people out there who are in your same situation and perhaps one day you will meet one of those individuals and next Valentine's day will be different for you. If you are in that boat then it should be treated as just another day. Do whatever you would normally do, which this time around will be easy since it's on a work day! Anyway, I would say that's about all I have for this entry. Happy Valentine's Day everyone.