Indecisiveness

Not but a few days ago, I had an interesting experience. To be clear it wasn't a particularly pleasant one, but it got me thinking. I was at the home of a quasi-romantic interest and we were looking at various cards from a game of which the objective was to choose between two scenarios. It was called "would you rather" but the title's not especially important. What was important was the question on a specific card. The question presented a scenario in which you are in a burning building and are forced to choose between saving a priceless Michael Angelo painting, and your own child's favorite cat. To my interest and her friend, the choice was obvious: they would save the cat, but to me, the choice wasn't as clear. I didn't say with certainty that I would save either, but I played the devils advocate and made a case for saving the painting. A large factor in my reasoning was that the painting was a priceless piece of culture, it was irreplacable, whereas the cat could always be replaced. My reasoning came off as cold, there's no doubt about that, however they didn't quite grasp that I wasn't saying for sure which I would save. I was in the dog house for my tone to say the least, but my actual answer is still a mystery even to myself. In my mind, the most likely fashion in which that situation would play out is that I wouldn't be able to choose between which to save. Inevitably, my indecisiveness would result in the building burning down, with the cat, the painting, and myself being lost to oblivion with it. That really highlighted the danger of indecisiveness to me. If one can't make quick decisions, the result can often be complete and total disaster. Sometimes we need to act without thinking and that's an area that I admittedly struggle with from time to time. I'm a person who likes to think things through, and while that's most often thought of as a good thing, that isn't always the case and the scenario presented in that card was precisely one such instance where overthinking can be the worst possible thing to do. Another thing about that night which struck me as significant was the woman I was spending time with. I frequently tease her for some of her behavior and personality traits, but I must acknowledge that a large reason I'm attracted to her is that I'm envious of some of those very personality traits which I mock. Some things are very simple to her, such as the choice to save the cat. She has a way of distilling complex concepts into simple manners and that's something I really wish I could be better at. Often times I like to go into extreme depth on whatever I'm talking about (this blog being the perfect example of that) and I've noticed on many occasions that people's eyes begin to gloss over whenever I enter that elaborative state. This woman I was spending time with doesn't have that problem, at least I would strongly imagine she doesn't. She has a sincere bluntness to her that would do me a lot of good if I could employ it in certain situations. She will often give quick, short, and straightforward (if not a bit harsh) answers to questions that I would ramble on with. I should get back to the topic of the entry which is of course, indecisiveness. A couple months ago I took on a position which requires me to make decisions and I don't have a shred of a doubt in my mind that at some point I will be required to make split second decisions, and being perfectly honest, I think I may struggle with those decisions if I don't learn to stop thinking so much and just act. It's one of those things that I need to work on and it's crucial that I'm understanding of that fact. It's funny how something so trivial as looking at a card game could make me think about such things, but c'est la vie. Often the profound can be found in the trivial if we are open to seeing it. Life is often like a book in that sense. What one might see as insignificant might be extremely profound to someone else. Wrapping things up, indecisiveness has been the downfall of empires and the ruin of lives. It's a pitfall that I recognize my own predisposition towards and is very much a hurdle that I hope to overcome. Let's hope I'm able to do just that, before I'm actually confronted with a scenario such as the one mentioned in the card.