Gaslighting

The act of getting someone to question what they know, to question the very institutions that they have had faith in for so long, is a tool that I've seen being employed with an ever increasing frequency in the world. What I've just described is called "gaslighting" and even if this is the first time you've heard the term, if you were to say that you've never witnessed it, I would greet that claim with sincere skepticism. Often the term is thrown around in the context of politics, but it is also often used in regular interpersonal interactions. When I say regular, I'm strictly referring to interactions outside the context of politics, because the act of gaslighting is in no way normal and is, more often than not, quite sinister. As with pretty much any act, the reason behind it is much more significant than the simple action itself. "Why" someone is doing something is often more important than "what" they are doing. Human beings are self serving by nature, and most of their actions, are for the purpose of benefiting themselves in one way or another. This may seem like a bleak thing to say, but it's often the truth. Also, it's not necessarily a bad thing, necessarily being the crucial word there, but I digress. Like I said, gaslighting is frequently used in the context of politics these days and that's worth discussing. There is one individual that's been accused of the practice countless times and you may be able to guess who I'm referring to. Yes, the President gaslights all the time, and he does so for a very good reason: it's the only way he can maintain his hold over his base. A disconnect with reality is inseparable from Trumps hold over the hoards that he has, and you don't even need to look that closely to see how he does it. He frequently and viciously slams the media, as well as anyone who even slightly criticizes him, and it doesn't matter how credible the source is, he will attack it as "fake news" if it paints any picture other than the exact one that he wants. He has said on numerous occasions that he's the only one his supporters can trust, that everyone else is lying, that there are all sorts of conspiracies against him and these once trusted institutions can no longer be relied on. This is blatant gaslighting, but in order for him to stay in charge, he has to do it, and it's clear that he's become quite adept at it. As much as I dislike the man, even I can't deny that he's confident, and this helps him accomplish what he needs to do in order to keep his supporters happy. Many of them see him as a strong leader, and they equate "strength" with credibility. Because of that image, many of them trust him blindly and willingly allow the gaslighting to take place. It's very jarring for the rest of us to see that, as well as profoundly frustrating because we think "how is it not obvious to them?" Well that brings us to the bizarre reality that in some form, Trump has made his gaslighting a reality, at least for his supporters. He has been largely successful in dismantling trust in once reliable aspects of society, and this has been central to his stranglehold over the perception of reality among a large portion of his supporters. Being perfectly honest, I'm not sure how to solve that problem. It's like these people are on island and are starving, but we can't get food to them because a maniac has burnt the only bridge to the island. However, it should be said that Trump isn't the only one guilty of this act. Gaslighting is a tool employed by those all over the political spectrum, and I do my best to remember that whenever I see any headline that seems especially dramatic. Democrats and others on the left use this tactic as well, however it's often in order to shock people into taking action against a more legitimate threat. Still, such hyper exaggeration is rarely a decent or honorable thing to take part in due to the deceptive nature of the act. I feel as though I've talked enough about political gaslighting, so now I'm going to go over the act in a different context: social interactions. Social gaslighting is pretty much always an act of immaturity used to isolate someone from a group for selfish reasons. I've seen it often in the context of high school, or among those whose maturity hasn't quite developed since then. "No one here likes you" is a common form of gaslighting in the social setting. Saying "so and so said this or that" when no one actually did is another way to distort someones perception of reality for the purpose of messing with them. Ultimately, social gaslighting really doesn't have much other use than creating instability and alienating others, which is altogether distasteful in my eyes. Then there is a whole different level of gaslighting when it comes to abusive relationships. This is some next level gaslighting and it blows me away how effective it can be. First of all, abusive relationships are heartbreaking. Abusers are insecure, predatory, and extremely manipulative, which makes it certainly unsurprising that they often gaslight their victims into believing that the toxic relationship isn't what it is. The way I've seen victims thoroughly convinced into thinking that trusted friends and family are deceiving them when they are trying to help and that their abusers are actually the only ones that have their best interests at heart is nothing short of insidious. Let me be perfectly clear that I don't blame the victims in these cases. More often than not they are good people who just place their faith in the wrong individuals, and those individuals happen to be particularly adept at manipulating that trust. It doesn't mean that the victims are weak willed or weak minded, but it does mean that the abusers are particularly ill. I say they are ill, because it is most often the case that they're aware of what they're doing. They know that they're manipulating a decent heart and that's why they specifically target the individuals that they do. That brings me back to the case of political gaslighting and makes me rethink my stance on those that fall for it, but only slightly. If we are to look at those who buy into Trumps gaslighting for example, it could be said that they are victims. Trump could be considered their abusive partner that has isolated them from all those that are actually trying to help, and it could be argued that they do have good hearts. However, there comes a point in any abusive relationship when the victim realizes what's going on. There comes a point when enough is enough, but there are one of two ways in which that ends. Either with the victim finding the strength and courage to get away, or a much more tragic outcome occurrs. I hope and pray that the victims of Trumps political gaslighting choose the former, but given what I've seen of them so far, I'm not holding my breath. Gaslighting is a dispicable act. It is something that you only do when reality isn't on your side. When the facts and substance don't support you, you have no choice but to create something different, and that is gaslighting. When you are told something that you suspect might be false, I've found that listening to that gut instinct is often the right course of action if you want to keep your perception of reality as pristine as it can be. There are many people in this world that wish to paint it as something it isn't, and you need to be aware that there is always a reason they do that. It's rarely for your benefit, but almost always for theirs.