Relapse

When you're on the path of recovery, from whatever may be your addiction, there's little a thing as embarrassing and discouraging as a relapse. When we relapse, we feel weak, we feel like we've allowed ourselves to give in to our lesser demons and we feel a deeply powerful shame. That's the way I would describe it at least. Nobody needs to know about a relapse for it to be devastating because when you make the decision to abstain from something, you are making a promise to yourself, and relapsing is breaking that promise. Unfortunate as relapse may be, it can't be stressed enough how crucial it is to not let it spiral back into active addiction. We're tempted so often by the simple yet powerful phrase of "fuck it". This one phrase surfacing in our mind is what starts off a relapse. Relapse doesn't occur the moment we cave in to whatever we are addicted to, it occurs when we get into that dangerous mentality of "fuck it". That mentality either blinds us to, or simply brings us to the state of not caring about the consequences of our actions. When we have that mentality, relapse is inevitable. While relapsing is certainly discouraging, we need to remind ourselves that these hiccups are inevitable on the road to recovery. We are imperfect and we are bound to slip up from time to time. It's important to remind ourselves of this, but at the same time not to let it become an excuse for not holding ourselves accountable. Recovery isn't an easy path to tread, I know that all too well, and I'll be the first to admit that I have relapsed at times, but I need to make it perfectly clear that I in no way intend to let a relapse hinder me from getting to where I want to be. That is a singular and profound promise that I've made to myself.