Rock Bottom

I had to put in quite a bit of thought into this one because it's a really big topic. There have been many points throughout my life when I thought I was at my lowest. There were the days in my old college apartment when I was in a deep depression and I was drinking heavily nearly every day which, at the time, I thought was my rock bottom. One day I woke up after a night of binge drinking and saw the horror show that was my bathroom. There was just a sea of various shades of red on the toilet and on the wall behind it. I had vomited a large quantity of blood that previous night when I was in a state of being blacked out. That was definitely one of the moments when I thought would be my lowest, but there were many moments after that that could be considered my rock bottom. The most recent time that could have been considered my rock bottom was when I was suicidal a couple months ago. I had reserved myself to the fact that I truly believed I was going to die. I had all the materials together that I was going to use to end it all and I even posted what I thought would be my last message on social media saying good bye to everyone in my life. Obviously I didn't end up going through with it because the police stopped me, but that was still the lowest point that I had ever been in. During my time in rehab I had read many stories about various people who had hit their rock bottoms. Many of the stories contained many similarities with my own story, but, and while I haven't come completely out of my own hole, I've been filled with hope because each story I read or heard had ended with the individuals recovering and climbing their way out of the hole that they had dug for themselves. One quote that really struck a chord with me, from one of the stories was "we hit our rock bottom when we stop digging." To me, this means that it's not actually up to external circumstances to decide when we are at our lowest point, that is entirely up to us. We choose when we stop digging and when we start to climb our way out of the hole. We have the power to turn things around and coming to that realization is half the battle. Rock bottom is terrifying and disheartening but we need to remember that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. We just have to keep making our way towards it and things will work out.