Recovery

There's no easy way around it, recovery is a long and challenging journey. It requires a large amount of effort on the part of the individual attempting to walk the path. It requires sacrifice, discipline, perseverance, and intensive self examination. Words fail to describe how much easier said than done that is, but for those of us who are at rock bottom, it's the only choice that we have. There is one silver lining of being at rock bottom and that is that there's nowhere else to go but up. However, once you start climbing your way out of the hole, the possibility of falling back down will always be there. No matter how much progress I make, it will all be for nothing if I slip up and go back to the bottom that I've found myself in. Recovery is going to be rough but I keep reminding myself that the benefits will be worth it. Living a higher quality of life will make all of this worth while. Being able to look in the mirror and say that I like the person that I see is what's driving me forward. Lately I've been reading up on stories of people who have defeated their addiction and have been able to maintain the quality of life that I aspire to, and it is inspiring to find out that there are so many people who have been in much darker places that I'm in and have still been able to turn their lives around. I know that in order to get to where I want to be, I need to stop lying to others and more importantly, I need to stop lying to myself. Honesty isn't optional if I truly want to recover, it's a requirement. I have to stop rationalizing my behavior as normal because it absolutely isn't. Normal people don't behave like I do, and they don't struggle with the same demons that I'm battling. As difficult as the road to recovery is going to be, I just keep telling myself that it's all going to be worth it in the long run. One step at a time, little by little, I'll get there. It's all a matter of time and effort. It's not going to be easy, but it's going to be worth it.