Alcohol

Throughout my life I've grappled with many demons, but one of my most prominent challenges has been my unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I first started drinking when I was a freshman in college and at first, I drank like most people did. It was just a thing to do with friends on weekends. I wouldn't drink during the week and I did fairly well in school. My drinking became problematic later in my collegiate career when I was living in an apartment by myself. I had the perfect cocktail of being off my anti depressants, isolating myself from my friends, and drinking myself nearly into a coma every other night that led me into one of the most self destructive spirals I've ever experienced. In this blog, as I'm sure you've noticed, I try to be as candid and honest as I can be, and that's why I've decided to write on this topic. I'll be honest, I would find any excuse to drink, whether that be to celebrate doing well on a term paper, or simply because I was feeling down, which was unfortunately quite often. Despite my destructive habit, I was still able to finish school, but I brought the addiction with me into my post school life. I found myself hiding bottles, sneaking around, lying to my friends and family, and all together going down a self destructive path. I've been diagnosed by many professionals as suffering from major depressive disorder, which makes the consumption of alcohol, a depressant, particularly dangerous. So many of my depressive spirals would follow myself dealing with a hangover and I still struggle with these demons to this day. It's an uphill battle, but recognizing that this is just my cross to bear is a crucial step in living a better life. It's not going to be easy. I need to hold myself accountable and commit myself to living a more honest life without substance abuse. It does help to know that I'm far from alone; there are millions of people out there battling the same demons that I am and there have been many success stories of those people defeating those demons. I hope to be one of them.