Life

It's been a rough couple weeks for me, that's for sure. So many of the struggles and trials of life have piled up on me all at once and I almost made the biggest mistake that would have ended my story once and for all. Life is weird, life is hard, and life can be challenging every step of the way, but I've decided that I'm going to keep on marching through it the best that I can. Bills are a part of life, relationship troubles are a part of life, and mental illness is a part of life. Last Monday I nearly let my inner demons win and nearly ended my life prematurely. Obviously I didn't end up going through with it otherwise I wouldn't be typing this today. I've come to the realization that life is bound to be shitty sometimes, but opting out, while it is an option, isn't the answer. After this past week, I was overwhelmed at how many people there were who weren't willing to let me end my story early without a fight. I realized something extremely important, and that is that our lives aren't just our own. They are a part of everyone that cares about you and, while it may seem easier, ending it all isn't your right because you would be robbing all those people that care about you of an essential aspect of their lives. Had I gone through with what I was planning, I would have taken away a son, a brother, a nephew, a grandson, and a friend, and I now understand that that isn't just selfish, it's downright cruel. No matter how difficult life gets, things will get better. The old saying "it's darkest before the dawn" rings very true in my case, and I've decided that I'm not done with life just yet. Even though things seem very bleak, it's become increasingly apparent that there are still things and people in this world that bring me happiness, and it's because of those things that I won't give up on my life. In closing, if you're reading this, I'd like to thank you all for making me realize that life can and will get better. My story isn't over just yet.