Friendship

If there's one thing that my brush with death has taught me, it's that I have more true friends than I ever thought I did. When I was discharged from the hospital, I checked all of my messages and was brought to tears by how many people there were who cared so deeply about me and weren't willing to let me go without a fight. There were dozens of people who reached out to me, who made it clear that they loved me so much and that I truly mattered to them. Before I go to intensive therapy, I'm going to try to make it my goal to reconnect with all of these true friends I have and be a better friend to them like they have been to me. Friendship is an amazing thing. It was so touching to realize how many people care so deeply about me and want to see my life get better. Friendship is one of the things that makes life worth living. In the days leading up to the night that I was going to commit suicide, I felt so alone. I felt like there was nobody who was going to stop me and that it was my right to make the decision to end my life. The day I was going to go through with it I posted one last message on Facebook detailing what was going on and why I was going to do what I was planning. Not one minute after I made that post, my phone began to go off like crazy. So many people were trying desperately to reach me. It wasn't just people who I've maintained contact with, it was many people who I hadn't talked to in years that were reaching out to me. Unfortunately, I was in a daze and it wasn't even registering how many people truly cared about me. I was getting so many calls and messages that my phones battery died due to the sheer influx of all of it. Several of my friends called the police and law enforcement worked so much faster than I thought they would. They found me in one of my favorite bars as I was having what I truly believed was my last drink. That whole ordeal made me realize how many true friends I really have. It made me realize how many peoples hearts I have touched throughout my life, and how many powerful bonds I really do have. Those bonds are what is keeping me tethered to this world. Those bonds mad me realize that my life isn't just mine, it belongs to all of the people that I have made an impact on in my life. If you're reading this, I'd like to thank you for keeping me going, and keeping me hopeful that my life will get better.