Grudges

Being completely honest with myself, yes I hold grudges. I don't always act on them or treat someone differently because of them, but I do have them. Being wronged is never fun and I think it's just human nature to hold onto that anger and store it up. I know it's unhealthy and try to do my best to let go of that resentment, but part of me always remembers times when I felt that I was treated unfairly or got a raw deal. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone has the capacity to wrong others, whether they realize it or not, and that's what I try to remember if I'm feeling any degree of resentment towards someone. If someone says that they don't hold grudges, then they're lying. We all hold anger but what really matters is how we choose to deal with it or express it. I think that part of being an adult is being able to process your emotions and express them in a responsible way. Being openly hostile to someone because they have wronged you just isn't socially acceptable no matter how good it might feel. People throw the phrase "be the bigger person" around a lot but that's easier said than done. Ultimately, sometimes you just have to keep your emotions to yourself and bite your tongue in order to keep a situation from snowballing into something much worse. For many, getting even with someone who has wronged or hurt you might feel good, it might give you a sense of closure, but I see it as a hollow victory. When you have been hurt by someone, hurting them back doesn't take away the pain that you've experienced, it just creates more of it. They say misery loves company but bringing someone down because they brought you down isn't going to make things any better. Holding grudges is natural but the important thing is not to let them consume you. Letting go of anger isn't easy but it's part of being an adult and learning to move forward with your life instead of dwelling on the past will ultimately make you feel better than holding onto the anger or getting even will. I'll finish this entry with one of my favorite quotes; "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."