Depression

It's not always as obvious as seeing a rain cloud hovering over someones head. You never really know what's going on in someones mind, but you can at least try to get a picture. I think depression can consume someone for a number of reasons. They could have lost their job, lost a loved one, or simply they just don't feel okay with their lives as they are. Often times depression haunts someone for no reason at all. It starts as a feeling of malaise, at least that's how I see it. But that sense of general unhappiness turns into a downward spiral that takes the victim with it. Many times you won't know someone is suffering because they hide it behind a smile and continue with their lives day by day while inside they are feeling more and more hopeless. Yes it is a chemical imbalance and yes medication can help but that's just the scientific side of it. The psychological and emotional side of it tends to be much more complicated and much harder to treat. I myself suffer from major depressive disorder. I've been on antidepressants most of my adult life but those just treat the symptoms, not the root of the problem. Sometimes I just simply don't feel alright. I feel hopeless, I feel regret, I feel like I'm a cog that doesn't fit in the machine of life anywhere. However, I, like many people, try my hardest to keep pushing and live life day by day because sometimes that's all you can do. That and hoping that the feeling will pass. I've been in downward spirals before and can tell you that it's pretty dark. I've slept all day, not because I was tired but because I just couldn't bring myself to do anything else. I've skipped work, school, and isolated myself from friends and family. Even though I have comeback up eventually each time, from time to time, even if things in life are going well, that malaise still creeps up from behind and lurks in the back of my head. I think there are certain types of people that are more prone to these lows. One type is the person that feels the need to please everybody. They hold themselves to such high standards that when they can't do it all, they come down on themselves that much harder. Another type is a person is someone who dwells on things more than others. Someone who beats themselves up about something they might have done or said even years ago. They just let that one thing tear them apart inside and let it keep them down. Another type of person is the one who feels the need to keep up their appearances and look like their fine. They think that it's a sign of weakness to express how they really feel so they just bottle it up inside and it eats at them constantly. No matter why someone feels down, there are no easy fixes to solve their problems. After the therapy and the medication, there's only companionship of caring friends and family and a hope that the malaise will pass. One thing that we all have to remember is that it's okay to not be okay sometimes and know that you just have to keep pushing through life the best that you can.